Hello Dear Ones, 

 

When I visited my folks this past June, it just so happened to be around Father’s Day.  Since it’s very rare I’m out there for this very important celebration, I decided to make my dad a cake.

I jumbled through the stacks of cookbooks in my mom’s bookshelves and perused through the creative recipes in this one particular book.  After scanning the entire book and reassuring myself I could do it, I handed it to my dad and told him to pick any recipe for his Father’s Day cake.  It didn’t take him very long to look.  “White Russian Cake,” he said, “…that’s what I want.”

I never made a cake this complex before, so I thought this would be interesting.  The book made it look easy, that’s why I offered.  Only time would tell if I could truly handle the challenge, but I wasn’t going to show fear…yet.

There was one ingredient that we just ran out of, thanks to my sister.  Just a few tablespoons of vodka was all we needed.  Vodka and cake…my dad picks good ones!  

My parental units and I swung by the local liquor store.  Dad joined me and two gentlemen greeted us as we sprung through the door.  

“Can I help you?” the owner asked. 

“Sure, where’s your vodka?  I need it for a cake recipe,” I felt I needed to explain…

“Right over there.  Sounds like some cake,” the owner said.

Three options stood on the shelf before me, with three different prices.  Of course I’ve forgotten their names by now, so I’ll call them “Hard Day,” “Not Again,” and “For the News.”  

Hard Day was the cheapest.  Nowadays, I try not to do the cheapest product because it turns out, well, cheap.  Not Again was a dollar or so more than Hard Day so that one was a possibility.  I took a closer look at For the News, and shuttered.  I wasn’t going to spend twice the amount of Hard Day for only a few tablespoons of happy juice.  But then it was my dad’s celebration and if I was willing to make a cake, I should be willing to spend the extra bucks.

I thought, “I love you Dad,” and I grabbed Not Again instead, and decided to save some moula. 

I could feel my dad’s eyes, wondering what took me so long.  I also felt the owner’s eyes too, especially when I asked him, “Is this a good brand?”  He stood there, staring back at me, like there was something I wasn’t picking up on.  After a few seconds, he still didn’t respond and I wondered, what in the world is wrong with this man?  

My eyes went down to his T-shirt with the Vodka brand Not Again.  I felt like a doofus. 

Later on, as I replayed my escapade, I wondered, did I really buy that vodka because I wanted to?  Or did I buy it because my subconscious detected the owner’s shirt and decided that was the one regardless?  I guess I’ll never know.

How many of the choices we make are actually ours?

When you think about all the conditioning from your “Day One,” the food…the religion…the belief structures…the rituals…the activities…the news…basically everything you’ve been exposed to in a consecutive order…I have to ask, “How many of your choices are yours?”

I’ve found, especially in the last ten years, that many of my choices were not my own.  My choices came with strings attached, mainly guilt.  Another addendum to my choices were that they were a projection for another person.  I didn’t want to hurt them emotionally in one way or another by choosing something they wouldn’t agree with on some level.  

“I feel guilty for eating this because I shouldn’t…”

“I feel guilty for letting this object go because this person gave it to me…”

“I feel guilty for saying no to this invite because I don’t want to hurt their feelings…”

“I feel guilty for not taking this call because I want to spend the day in peace…” 

Our choices are harder to make when they’re saturated in guilt, or any other lower vibrational emotion.  We make them, and yet the side effects tend to be worse than the actual choice. 

Guilt, with a side of guilt, on a guilt plate, eating with a guilt spoon…or fork, depending on your guilty preference!

It’s nonsense, the stress we put ourselves through!  If you need permission to let go of any choices you’ve made that were infused with an emotional discord, I give you FULL permission…Let it go!  Now if I could just release it as easily for my Self…no wonder why it’s taken ten years so far, it’s a slow process of de-programming. 

It can be a challenge starting from scratch in your choice-making.  However, when you make these future choices without any 1-font-sized clauses, you can breathe more.  You can move more. You can be your-Self more.  You can shine more. 

Now, I understand that this scenario doesn’t work in every situation…I mean, we do have others we need to care for and put first.  However, if the bulk of your choices scale in favor of the other party, I’d say that’s a problem.  Eventually, the influence of your choices will come at a price, with time. 

I also find that those who are empathic, compassionate, and really nurturing people may have an even tougher time making a decision in their favor, because that’s all they’re tapped into; other’s needs.  If you’re one of these people, give your-Self some LOVE…start making choices for you!  Just like I chose the Vodka brand Not Again for me…at least I think I did.

…and who knew Vodka and cake could become a discussion of authentic choices?  Those who read my blogs on a regular basis should know they have to ‘buckle up’ sometimes.

By the way, the cake didn’t turn out too bad.  It was aesthetically pleasing and delicious, and mostly importantly, my Dad gave it two thumbs up.  You couldn’t really taste the Vodka though…    

Onto My Next Recipe,   

Lesley